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  • Ferengi Rules of Acquisitio​n
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Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

1  Once you have their money ... never give it back.
3  Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
6  Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
6  A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. (From "Enterprise")
7  Keep your ears open.
8  Small print leads to large risk.
9  Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10  Greed is eternal.
13  Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16  A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
17  A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between Ferengi).
18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19  Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21  Never place friendship above profit.
22  A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23  Nothing is more important than your health--except for your money.
27  There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31  Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about
33  It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34  Peace is good for business.
35  War is good for business.
40  She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41  Profit is its own reward.
44  Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45  Expand, or die.
47  Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48  The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52  Never ask when you can take.
57  Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
58  There is no substitute for success.
59  Free advice is seldom cheap.
60  Keep your lies consistent.
62  The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
65  Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
75  Home is where the heart is ... but the stars are made of latinum.
76  Every once in a while, declare peace.
       It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79  Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82  The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85  Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89  Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94  Females and finances don't mix.
97  Enough ... is never enough.
99  Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102  Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103  Sleep can interfere with profit.
104  Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
106  There is no honour in poverty.
109  Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111  Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
112  Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113  Always have sex with the boss.
117  You can't free a fish from water.
121  Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123  Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139  Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141  Only fools pay retail.
144  There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162  Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
168 Whisper your way to success.
177  Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
181  Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189  Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
190 Hear all, trust nothing.
192  Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194  It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk
         in the door.
202  The justification for profit is profit.
203  New customers are like razor-toothed grubworms...
         they can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer
211  Employees are rungs on the ladder of success...
         don't hesitate to step on them.
214  Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
218  Always know what you're buying.
223  Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229  Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236  You can't buy fate.
239  Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242  More is good ... all is better.
255  A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity.
261  A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263  Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
266  When in doubt, lie.
284  Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
285  No good deed ever goes unpunished.
286  [Quark's rule] When Morn leaves, it's all over.